December 2011
2 posts
July 2011
1 post
Recent categories for playing 'Fuck You Buddy' on...
Angry Fat Women
Stoic Baldies
People carrying aged Dogs
Those Terry Pratchet types with waxed trench coats and hats and beards
February 2011
1 post
Every Sentence
If India is neuter, is Japan sausage land?
November 2010
1 post
2 tags
PIsaz\zx
I was thinking I don’t really want to be either a grass or associated with the trouble makers, but more seriously after 2 hours sleep, being made to watch the same VHS about an OIL RIG disaster, HOW CAN I RECONCILE THIS DECEIT WHILE AT THE SAME TIME, PROMISING THE LECTURER THAT I’D DO HIM SOME MICROSCOPIC PHOTOGRAPHY OF AN UNUSUAL FAILURE OF ONE OF HIS TENSILE SAMPLES WHICH I MIGHT...
October 2010
6 posts
6 tags
zc\
You are pedaled through the Harrop Solarium which is a pointless room paid for by some vain and wealthy cripple. You look down slowly, a slow, slow tilt to your pins. You see them in discount sports shoes. They are the type with very low density foam soles, with areas of netting and some lozenge shaped window-void, imitating the Nike Air series. They have been laced up to the top and are jammed in...
A sector
It was just like the time when my English teacher asked why I was looking at her arm. She was leaning on the desk right in front of me. I didn’t want to look at her face and I didn’t want to look at her breasts. I didn’t want to be rude and look away so I looked at her arm. I shrugged. How could I explain my motives?
This time is like that time because, behind them both are...
September 2010
3 posts
Lubricate the alembic
Scour the condenser
Let Mr Angulopo know that his laboratory is primed for research.
2 tags
KAaamfk[pfe
So I went into the Happy Shopper type shopping shop. They have stopped looking at me like a sklepplifter and have started to beam at me because I am a valued customer. Oh! And it’s a glorious look, when the moustache approves the flourish of the lips. Its so nice not to be suspected. When you feel as guilty as me, it really is.
Three Budweiser Budvar beers go into one black carrier bag. The...
August 2010
10 posts
we5y74wh
I created a Zwinky
I raped Man
I became the tits of our Lord
Someone stole my beautiful bicycle
I was Ung before I was Die
I wore the depiction of a fat Peruvian toddler to avoid burning in Hell
OH GOD PUT IT TAE DEATH
http://www.otherother.org/2010/08/genocide/
2 tags
Five Hundred and One
Lets just take some nice pictures of every single Horse in the world and then shoot them all. There will be a lot less hassle and messing around that way.
“Onomatopoeic gun shot”
“Onomatopoeic gun shot”.
This will subsidise both the Leather industry and and that other industry, that one reliant on hooves. Also, the photographers will make some good money.
essentially now useless
Tunnels may become oval under the ground due to the weight of all that earth above. The round trains might not fit through the tunnels if this is the case. Its conceivable that a train might get stuck half way down, requiring the evacuation of the train and for several elderly (and proud) ladies to undergo the indignity of being carried down the last six hundred yards of remaining tunnel and...
5 tags
FOXOSD
Poking down the chimney goes little Tom. A man of funky, implausible genetics, of touching optimism and of multitudes of spiteful carcinogens. We might ask: Can carcinogens be anything like that? They can for instance be God’s trip wire, sending any blundering walker tumbling down, through many indefinable layers of grey gas and grey cloud into the catchment flask. Into the alembic Tomb...
MY DREAM
I dreamed that the weight of food entering my body was lower than the weight of my excrement departing.
Then one day in Debenhams I exploded, and all that was left of me was a FECAL HENGE.
July 2010
1 post
Primate Send Off
When I die, please intern my ashes in as many of these as are required:
I have set aside funds to buy up to 8. If more are required, generic mugs should be used.
June 2010
4 posts
A sector
Who is that steely character o’er there by the baking chicken vending machine? Look at his resolve and his eyes WHICH SEEM TO BE GLAZED IN THE SAME FAT AS DRIPS OFF THOSE SWEATING AND CHARRED BIRDS!
"Boobness"
The prostate cancer awareness campaign kitchen blender is a lump hammer and a chopping board.
And
Altruism is exploring lots of new avenues such as product placement:
Breast Cancer Awareness Toaster
We can all spend our disposable income in what ever slot takes our fancy. Should charity spending be proportional to ‘cuteness’ or ‘boobness’ though?
I may go into...
May 2010
4 posts
5 tags
rustic poetry
Your woman is hassling you,
Tie her up because of this,
Use heavy duty cable ties,
Put socks in her mouth.
Now you can have that Gin,
Not long until the authorities come,
but at least you can drink in peace,
Put those socks right in her mouth.
Now I am in prison,
I dont have a woman or any Gin,
Sometimes I am molested,
Sometimes I get the sock.
8 tags
Richard Dawkins has replaced the brass statue of...
Dibnah is made from Brass and lives in the town center of a place called Bull Town. He was responsible for my mental breakdown of ‘09. His paraphilla are numerous and fraught. A nice young man destroyed his glasses, bashed them in with something metric (I hope).
(Interesting side note, here is a ‘Jihadi’ style anonymous message from a...
April 2010
2 posts
5 tags
6 tags
OH ITS JIM S AGAIN
The journey is frequently made by a train. It’s a ride of of Silver Birch, fly tipping, Millstone, high visibility, old and rusting plant, new plant, plants and a whole load ‘o’ standard British Rail L-section. There are pieces of graffiti saying things like “Leo is 100% fit”, “Wu Tang Clan” and “Stalin”. Chemical analysis will reveal that...
March 2010
4 posts
The day the immigrants left television show!
English people have gone to work on a pea farm, which in spite of being so near to a town full of unemployed people uses migrant labour exclusively.
We see the induction. We see pasty arms, Tiny Latvians who are tensile and we see an infinity of peas. The migrant workers are walking up and down and stripping pods into their baskets. Englanders are smoking cigarettes and clutching pods with...
I am a super hero and I have the ability to will...
I am a super hero and I have the ability to will the appearance of Heroin addicts out of the ether.
3 tags
3 tags
ARP
YEAH AND I WAS ON THE SECRET MILLIONAIRE AND I WENT TO THIS IMPOVERISHED TOWN AND WHAT I DID WAS GO AND VISIT THIS COMMUNITY CENTER THAT WAS FALLING DOWN AND THE FUCKING WALL PAPER WAS HORRIBLE AND I LOOKED ROUND TO SEE WHAT OR WHO MIGHT NEED MY MONEY.
BUT THEN I REALISED THAT I ALL THE PEOPLE AT THE CENTER WERE A BUNCH OF PRICKS SO WHAT I DID WAS TO GIVE MONEY TO HITMEN TO KILL ABOUT SIX OR...
February 2010
1 post
4 tags
4 tags
January 2010
10 posts
OBSERVE HOW I EVACUATE NATIONAL ICONS
“Oh look boys” I fanneried, “t’new ‘Space Ship’ just come int’ Dock”. Is this allergorical? I don’t fewkin’ care. The ‘ships’ are still tied up by ‘hemp twine’. ‘whores’ still strut around, bicker and giggle for ‘gin’ and ‘shillins’. Active people mill around those who are...
4 tags
“Steven Luse had called a meeting on the navigation deck. He could have used the...”
– The Last Continent by Edmund Cooper
8 tags
OOH! ISN'T LIFE CYCLICAL?
I was very drunk. I had stayed in the spare bed above the pub. There was some sort of turtle swimming towards me against the tank wall. Scraping feet, a banging shell and all night long regard by those turtle eyes. I got really fucking drunk because of my medicine. I was throwing up steaming beer.
Next afternoon, I walked through Cheapside, a poor place in a poor town and bought a pie from a...
MORE TO COME SOON IN THE NOEL EDMONDS SEASON!
DISPROOF OF CONSIQUENCES OF ACTIONS
STEP ONE
Open theme park based on a satirical children’s television chararacter.
STEP TWO
Spend further money on high risk investments into motor racing.
STEP THREE
Obtain new prosperity by recieving advice and guidance from melon sized energy balls which are most likely your parents after requesting this from ‘The Cosmos’.
papps
This man. This Being. This ominous Deity. He moulds kings and banishes to hell on idle whim. He will crack our puny world to bits if so he decides.
From left: anachronism, anachronism
In this video, one anachronism teaches another a stupid occupation from one possible past. Have you seen this man’s jumper? White, Black, White, Black. Have you seen the other? Pink with yellow. These are...
Disabilities through the eyes (or not) of Tyneside...
This is a video on Youtube of children’s television show ‘Byker Grove’ (1989-06 BBC/Zenith entertainment).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HQ7LCDLRwU&NR=1
The video is 1’46” long and has approximately 59,000 views. The clip follows a party at the the fictional youth club ‘Byker Grove’ shortly after character PJ is blinded in an illegal paintball...
3 tags
