CLINGFILMED TO A PALLET IN A GLASGOW DUNGEON

The internet

I don’t have the internet.

I’m going to stop over using specific words. I’m going to stop being foolish also.

My review of Les Savy Fav might show up on www.guestlistmusic.com if its not too astounding and irreverant.

Balm

Grotto

I was born in a grotto at the hands of a shabby Mystic who put some heavy and exotic isotopes into the synthetic milk that he fed to me. I was delivered by a shabby Mystic who gave me cancer. Now I am twenty-four and weigh fifty kilograms.

powp

Fist fight at the Carvery The dispute is over ham That man is taking steroids and his wife is bloated too. All the bilge of Stretford are banging on the doors because they are angry about cervical cancer

Never to be finished essay about a that lady's televison apperance

Sound

What is notable about the production of the video is that the boom microphone is in shot. The microphone is in a Rycote modular windshield and is most likely a Sennheiser 416 or simmilar.  We also see the sound recordist’s head and headphones slightly intermittently under the frame. The recordist’s headphones have telescopic arials coming from each ear.
As the distance from the recordists position is relatively far from the subject and a better microphone position could be attained from booming from above the frame, we can deduce that either the microphone and recordist were intentional features in the composition or that the recordist was not a professional. This is unlikely however as the recordists moves the microphone frequently to be on axis. Furthermore, considering that the theme of the peice is television about television then his or her presence onscreen is apt in this context. we are seeing the makings of television being made about television. The headphones are comical.

Visuals

The camera work is unexceptional, care is taken to frame both the telvision and Bjork. This is cut to extreme close ups of the componentry of the television as it is being described. The camerawork is handheld and focus is off. close ups of Bjork looking and talking are intercut.

Bjorks understanding of electronics is niaeve but not without basis. in this section she describes the function of the focus and deflection coils:

(1,33): And here are all the wires.

points to the focus and deflection coils

(1,37): These wires.

(1,39): They really take care, take care of all the electrons when they come through here.

Is “really taking care” of electrons an acurate description of the function of the coils? Partly. Bjork might be empathising with the electrons and implying that the coils are are also compassionate. Having english as a second language may explain this choice of words though and that “taking care” might be synonymous to ‘conditioning’ or ‘electron focusing’ for someone with a vocabulary inferior to that of a native English speaker or ideally, a native English speaking electronic engineer.

Considering that previously components on the motherboard were described as buidings and the motherboard itself as a city, personification seems likely. Perhaps in Bjork’s mind, electrons are born and then raised in the houses in the city to meet their destiny; to ascend in the lift before being forced at lightspeed through a fine mesh screen. Does she consider this a compassionate act? Can situational comedies ever be enjoyed knowng that exponential numbers of souls bloating (as with what we all do) with hopes, dreams, terrors, lusts and overdrafts are meeting their cathodal destinies ?

It should be noted that Bjork is probably unaware that many of the capacitors inside the television may be retaining a substantial electrical charge. After scruitinising the television’s workings, she itches her nose, perhaps because of dust.

PARABLE

Bjork describes being scared of television after speaking to an Icelandic poet.

(2,01): I remember being very scared to it because, an Icelandic poet told me that not like in cinemas, where the thing that throws the picture from it just sends light on the screen.

Bjork points to the television

(2,20): But this is different. This is a millions and millions of little squares

Bjork, who is a luminary to such millions, was surely enthralled by a bearded luddite vagrant type. The PAL television specification which is used in Iceland implies a resolution of less than a million pixels. The poet is arguing that the technological differences between celluloid projection and television means that we are likely to accept without question the content, subliminal or otherwise, because of the bewildering rate at which pixels are refreshed in tv. This is technophobic bunk.

Post election rape

Grease undulates in all the things in your fucking cafteria. Your orange moulded seats with all those tiny bumps are seven thousand calories each. I realise that the tiny bumps stop old and fat people from sliding under the tables. Are those holes in the back artefacts of the moulding process and not really a place to shit through? I wonder how it feels to slide off a seat and not be able to stop yourself.

I’m asking you about the seating in the cafteria. I’m sat down in your cafeteria. I’m not standing at your beer soaked kiosk. I’m not at your corn stand. I’m not buying DVD in the pub. I’m not buying a fucking rose for my lady in the pub.

Muslims Seeking Marriage

I am a Male

Seeking a Male

Aged 47 to 60

in Bolivia

No results found. Start again and try to broaden your search.

ARGOT

I found a little note that was written on a piece of paper torn from one of those cheap spiral bound pads. I found this in my favorite cafe. This is what the note said:

I have been forced (against my will) through the fine mesh screen that you would would call society. As a result of this I am now in ten thousand little square shaped tubes and as result of this I wear only pinstripe suites. I was forced through this a few years after being forced through the coarser pubic mesh screen which was in my case, tatty and rusted.

I am asuming that the author is either a estate agent or works in a mobile phone dealership.

Why I dodw!

Smashing Boxes in an Alpine whore house. Making them extra flat so that will all fit into the skip which is emptied only once every other month. I do this during my summers to pay for my university course. One time, out at the back yard, I was breaking up boxes that contained a shipment of sixteen thousand black rubber penises. The air was alpine and windy and lean goats were doing their acrobatics up on the scrape. I was busy with this that I didn’t notice a shabby mystic that approached from the ginnel. He handed me a transcript and this is it:

————————————————————————Begin

M: What the fuck do you know? Your dad designs awfull cartoons that advertise safety ladders.

T: The ALU-GRIP FOX? Oh! I’m very sorry! I wish my dad could be involved in the defence industry and specifically involved with munitions programs that ALL inveitably get cancelled such as the VEVIT.

?: DISTORTED WAR HOWL

Sounds of Scuffling

Sounds of Scuffling

—————————————————————————-END

I had a silly argument and I regret that terribly. I lost my friend in a murderous rage. The mystic then told me that he shopped me in to the Filth.
“I have shopped you in you young and reckless bastard you. You make me fucking sick having that stupid murderous rage on that trolley bus. Its not right. its not right. Do you know why I grassed you up?”
“Why?” I asked.
“sixteen years ago, your fat and stupid uncle didn’t give me a pint of goats blood that I asked him for. I begged him For that pint. He laughed at me and had grease on his nose.”

The Alpine Police came the next day. They been me up so badly in the back of that van. The floor felt dusty and it was so bright. The beat me up so badly I died. They rolled the van of into the void, never to be found. They laughed HARGH-HARGH-HARGH! and their noses were greasy like my stupid uncle’s

bang

Imagine a fluid made from millions of microscopic Arabs who are stroking their beloved microscopic Falcons. Imagine that now as you eat your crackers made from millions and millions and millions of boems (beams). I hope you choke.

QUIZQUIZQUIZ

The department store is full of people who are pretty but out of proportion. There are retail professionals involved in charity fundraisers. Baked beans and juice are tickling their thighs. They get out of their baths and go to the health club that agreed previously to let them use the showers there.

Do you know what now comes out of the shower head?